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Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Anchor-istan: Media jihadis and their vision of Pakistan

Guest blog by: Bahadar Ali Khan

After watching Pakistani media’s talk shows, the assertions made by learned anchor-persons of these talk shows and reading the Urdu columnists I have visualized a future scenario of good governance for Pakistan. Under the recommendations of the media persons of our country and right wing parties, I have come to the conclusion that we should make a government just as they recommend and infer every day in their allotted air time. My understanding is that after we have this government inplace all of our problems would be resolved for ever. We’ll no longer be accepting US dictations nor we would be needing their arms. India would flee from Kashmir. Another popular hate-subject, Israel would be annihilated. The Western civilization would cease to exist and US and European will get back to stone age. All the corrupt elements from the Pakistani society would chastise theirself and anyone who obtained expensive plots from government would return it in the greater interest of the general public. Also anybody who got anything except salary would return it.

Now let us see how this government of ‘angels’ would look like. Nobody can doubt that best person for Pakistan’s presidentship is General (rtd) Hamid Gul. Syed Munawar Hassan is the best candidate for the Prime Minister of Pakistan. None other than Imran Khan suits the best for ministry of religious affairs. He is so good at collecting donations that he would run his ministry purely on donations and nothing would be taken from national exchequer. Shireen Mazari can be appointed ambassador to US. Qazi Hussain Ahmed would become Pakistani High Commissioner to India because by doing so one day he would fulfil his life long wish of heralding Pakistani flag on Delhi’s Red Fort. He can do this secretly on any weekend. Rest of the portfolios of economy, defence, foreign affairs, strategic affairs, science and literature and many other section can be filled by the appointments of very talented and expert on every subject media anchor-persons. These people are so capable that every ministry would run in an exemplary fashion.

There would be a National Consultation Council whose members would be from the board of the directors of “Ideology of Pakistan Limited”. General Mirza Aslam Beg can be appointed as governor of Baluchistan and because of terrain of his province he would be more effectively keep an eye on the ’strategic depth’ and US activities in Afghanistan. MQM suits best for the governorship of Sindh because though they are kind of misfit for this set up but the problem is that if we appoint anybody else the governor, MQM would not let him enter the governor house.

I believe if this government comes into being all of our assets including Talibans and nuclear weapons would get safe for ever. We will defeat NATO and allied forces in Afghanistan and later on will continue our march towards Central Asian states until we get our strategic goals and during this course our strategic depth would expand as far as North Pole goes. This government will neither take any foreign aid nor will return anybody’s loan. In order to appease Taliban this government will shut down all the girls colleges and schools.

Maulan Abdul Aziz ( Lal Masjid fame ) will be appointed Pakistan’s permanent representative in United Nations where he will brief the rest of the world about Pakistan power and importance. He will construct a mosque in the UN building whose students would march in the streets of New York and anybody ( any women ) not following the proper dress code will be kidnapped and brought to UN Mosque where she would be tortured to get the dose of spirituality. If the US, because they are host of UN office, do something derogatory or put any restrictions on our envoy’s actvities , our government will transfer the head quarters of UN to Waziristan. Osama bin Laden will be our Ambassador at large where he will work on the puritinization of the infidels and if some infidel not followed his line, he would be slaughtered.

Our new government will keep friendly relationship with China only one condition, if all Chinese men stop shaving their faces and their women put on modest dress. If China not followed these condition then we would teach them a lesson by sending our Mujahideen in their Sinkiang province. This government would definitely fulfil the longing for waging a war against US and in that war our government would destroy US.

The only problem that is left to be tackled as what will happen to the current lot of Politicians. So our pious government would arrange their punishments from the federal Shariah Court. And their worst punishments would be to appoint them on higher posts but stop them from taking bribe and perks.

So what do you think?

Source: http://bkhan.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/anchor-istan-a-vision-of-a-pure-government/


Aamir Mughal said...

Hyper Nationalism of "Honourable Pakistanis" aka Ghairat Brigade.

We think that our problems would go away by raising cheap slogans of Hyper Nationalism. No, they wont rather such hyper nationalism would be counter-productive. Our Media [Read Jang/GEO/The News and Aaj too] instead of training Pakistanis to think critically, has been teaching rather thrusting Third Rate Propaganda to build a nation [it will fail] like Ma'ashrati Uloom Text book of Class 9. Glimpse of what Pakistani media [Read Jang/GEO/The News and Aaj too] avoid telling people. Harsh Truth, is what we need. Shaheen Sehbai, Dr Shahid Masood and GEO TV were expecting that Seymour Hersh would bad mouth Asif Ali Zardari so that Jang Group would cash it for filing sleazy stories in their rag [read The News/Jang], what they didn't is published anywhere is published in Dawn. Read Seymour and also read what the world's leading press is writing or written.


We were given access, a computer look. I am not saying Americans were running around with cameras and were checking out things with their eyes: Seymour Hersh - The journalist, who also interviewed Gen Pervez Musharraf for the article, said he believed the former Pakistani president was ‘a disarming fellow, very direct. I liked him, liked him a lot. He is a very likeable man, straightforward. More than I thought’. ‘Did Mr Musharraf say he allowed Washington access to Pakistan’s nuclear installations?’ ‘I wrote what I wrote. Are the words that came out are the words I meant? Yes, of course.’ REFERENCE: US given a ‘computer look’: Hersh By Our Correspondent Wednesday, 11 Nov, 2009 http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/news/world/12-given+a+computer+look+hersh--bi-07 Hersh says he never spoke of agreement between US, Pak By Iftikhar A. Khan Wednesday, 11 Nov, 2009 http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/news/pakistan/12-hersh+says+he+never+spoke+of+agreement--bi-10

Meanwhile, what surprised some was Karamat’s dismissive tone about the A Q Khan affair, which he labeled a “proliferation episode” while denying any government complicity in it. “There was no government sanction, approval, or any kind of government connection with what went on,” he said flatly. But Dr Abdul Qadeer Khan, in his 11-page confession reported in the US press in February, named Karamat, former chief of army staff General (retired) Mirza Aslam Beg and President General Pervez Musharraf as the men on top who were aware of what was going on. As the chief of army staff from 1996-98, Karamat was directly responsible for the safety and security of the nuclear program. REFERENCE: South Asia – Pakistan lays down the agenda for the US By Seema Sirohi Dec 25, 2004 http://www.atimes.com/atimes/South_Asia/FL25Df01.html

The daughter, Kausar Khan, was taken to the local police station, although, contrary to usual practice, she was neither signed in nor signed out. The Dutch agents wanted to know why she had not opened the letter and whether she knew what was in it. She didn’t; she had merely been asked to look after it. Inside the envelope was a copy of a letter that Pakistan did not want to reach the West. The feared Pakistani Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) had found the letter when they searched Dr AQ Khan’s home inIslamabad. He had also passed a copy on to his daughter Dina to take to her home in London, as rumours of Khan’s “proliferation” — jargon for the dissemination of nuclear secrets — swept the world. The Pakistani ISI were furious. “Now you have got your daughter involved,” they reportedly said. “So far we have left your family alone, but don’t expect any leniency now.” REFERENCE: From The Sunday Times September 20, 2009 Investigation: Nuclear scandal – Dr Abdul Qadeer Khan - The Pakistani scientist who passed nuclear secrets to the world’s rogue states has been muzzled by his government. In a smuggled letter, AQ Khan reveals his side of the story http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6839044.ece


Aamir Mughal said...


GEO SAYS THIS:http://www.geo.tv/11-11-2009/52763.htm Zardari allegedly made big money in sub-marine sale Updated at: 1820 PST, Wednesday, November 11, 2009 PARIS: Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari is suspected of having received millions of dollars in kickbacks from the 1994 sale of three French submarines to the Pakistani Navy, a French daily reported. In addition, investigators believe that the non-payment of the full amount of the agreed kickbacks may have led to the deaths of 11 French nationals in a 2002 terror attack in the city of Karachi.

THE NEWS DENIES GEO: Report on French subs deal contradicted Thursday, November 12, 2009 http://www.thenews.com.pk/top_story_detail.asp?Id=25517 In a press release on Wednesday, the spokesman said the purchase of equipment by the armed forces of Pakistan was done through a proper competitive process under the supervision of the Ministry of Defence. Asif Zardari was neither the president nor the prime minister nor the defence minister when the submarines referred to in the news item were purchased. The then admiral responsible for this purchase was investigated by the Accountability Bureau. But no allegation of misdoing could be established by the investigation authorities against Asif Zardari.

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